So tonight was no ordinary night. It has been a crazy day- filled with little tips and turns. I thought I had mailed my announcements, but appearently that was a dream when I found them in the living room... either that or my roommate hid them... In any case, I mailed those out. Almost lost my mind searching for the power bill, my VS bill, and my credit card statement... Note to all: Do not rearrange your room when bills are due! Then there was a power outage... It was just a weird day.
Anyway, I had the chance to go over to my grandparents and they shared with me their conversion story. It was interesting to me, to think about life like it was back then. My grandpa spent time recounting how he had met my grandma. He talked about his mother, a woman I hardly knew. Life was very different back then, their first home cost less than $2,000. I was shocked. I listed to their accounts of life in the good times... they used to do this thing called "dragging center"... which apparently means you go to Center Street in Provo and pick up on boys/girls. They point of going was strictly to make out- I was shocked. I laughed as he said, that when he tried to help her into the car, he ripped the arm off her coat.
The rest of the story was different, he told me about how it took him a year and half before he converted. He never asked my grandma if she wanted to join- but she had wanted to join, since before they married. He said he insisted on being taught from the Bible, because as a boy, he had attended a Baptist church. The couple who taught them, were married parents in the surrounding area. They remained family friends until their passing. I listened to a story that I never really think about.
I never wonder, why I have what I do. I never think about life where children aren't taught to pray. I couldn't imagine, not attending Sunbeams and singing along in Primary. I thought about how different their lives were. Though his story, he talked about being able to feel "good feelings"- which he now identifies as the spirit. Like when they bought their first home, he felt good there.
I then thought about my own life, those things that turn in your stomach and "feel good". I wondered how life would be if I didn't understand them. I wondered how life would have been if I were just the little wife, who had no or little opinion and didn't have the voice to say that it was something I wanted.
As I listened, I was thankful. While life is full of disappoints and hard times, sadness, and many times being lost from the path- I had firm knowledge that I had something that would make it all worth my while. I had something that many did not- and that was a testimony.
There is a song that I love, the lyrics are as follows: "I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing. Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in. I got time, while he got freedom. When a heart breaks, it don't break even." Sometimes, lately, I have started wondering if he is really there. Sometimes I get really down, and I beg for him to come be with me. I know he is there- but I just wonder how he can stay so far. But then my heart strings pull and I know. I never will loose that- because I know. But there will be times, that it doesn't seem right- and right now, its just going to be like that.
However, my answer is Patience.
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