During a day on the boat, I had some time to think and reflect on change expected in relationships.
You'll often hear people say that, you shouldn't have to change for the one you are meant to be with. However, as I sat there, I realized that those same people encourage give and take in those same relationships. What is the difference between changing and giving a little?
I spent the day with two of the three men in my life. My dad and younger brother.
My younger brother is the only boy in the family. He loves scout camps with the boat because he finally has someone to have tube wars with.
Well, after sitting in the sunshine for a bit- reflecting on this "change" theory- I realized that while I used to merely sit in the boat, it was time for a change. Mitch needed a friend, someone who could share a common interest- and so I changed.
In stead of sitting in the boat, enjoying the newly acquired color and reading my book- I got in the water.
I played water fights with a water gun that I could hardly hold it was so heavy, worked on wake-boarding, and had a tube war. I usually cringe at letting my face get wet. Not because of makeup- anymore, but because of a fear I have of drowning.
This trip on the boat was so different. I fell off the tube more times that I have ever in my history of boating. I am pretty sure my spine is broken and part of my leg and foot are snapped. I rolled over my tube, onto Mitch's and then back into the water. I have rope burns from our tubes crossing. I was dragged under the water when the tube flipped. The whole time, I realized that my fear of the face in the water thing was frivolous.
This is where my last little thought comes in.
We are encouraged to give and take in dating. We are encouraged to not change who we are. But when the situation arises, it is okay if WE make the choice to change. If we are meant to find those who will encourage us to be better- or find those who will add life and spontaneity- THEN WE MUST BE OPEN TO CHANGE.
Willing and voluntary change in relationships is "give and take".
When the change is forced- that is the change they encourage us to avoid.
I am willing to give a little of myself, of my definition of myself, if it is for the benefit of a relationship. I can learn to like new things, I can try new things, I can be who I am while developing a little at the same time. We are meant to progress- and that is the goal at hand. I am moving toward my life- Now I just need him to meet me there.