Change?

Today I realized that some things never change. I was walking down the same hallway, thinking about Steve- just the same as last year. When I got to the window, I was shocked that there was no snow outside. Not even on the mountain tops- instead I was greeted by the warm colors of green and yellow. Nothing changed, only time passed. But the hall still smells the same, my phone still felt cold and lifeless in my hand. I was still waiting for a text. Nothing has changed, only time has passed.
Do you ever stop to wonder where the time has gone?
I spent a summer working with full intent of being prepared for what comes. To tell you the truth, I don't think things have changed.
I still see the same faces in the hall. The girls greet me the same as if we haven't missed five months in each other's lives. Each time they ask where my ring is, I melt a little inside. Instead, I smile and say- "things change", though I think that is a lie. Things don't change like that. I still love him. I would still put that ring on my finger and commit to a life.
This semester will change my life forever. At the end of this year- I will not return to these beloved halls. I will not be greeted by the same faces. This year, I grow another inch. I leave the familiar, and try to make it alone in the world.
I pretend to change. I merely stop talking is all. I don't change. I am constant like a river. I move and grow- but sometimes remain the same. I flow down stream, I sparkle in the sunshine, and I can count on others to make me full. I am like a river- I change, but I don't.
That makes no sense. But I guess that is because I still think of him often. I still glance at my hand to straighten the ring. I still wonder what I did. I still hope there is something I can do.
Things change, but not really. Not for permanent.