Where is my Sunshine?

How does the weather really affect your mood?
It went from nice pleasant weather- to a sudden down-pour.
I am not altogether convinced that I am not controlling it. Because it seems with almost certain guarantee that when I am sad or gloomy- the clouds roll in. I am getting heart ache pains and the rain starts coming down. Surely there are days when I am sad and there is sun... but I don't seem to recall them.
Here is what is bothering me. I am trying to find a way to re-route my brain. You know stop thinking of him... but I can't seem to do it. Every time I start a new thing, it just causes more pain. I can't wait to tell him about fishing or California rolls, but he isn't there to talk to. I find myself mad that I am doing things that he doesn't care to hear about.
I don't know what the cure is. I am trying to figure it out. But I am seriously thinking about taking some cake decorating classes, buying more paint and canvases, and getting into an institue class. I think the thing that hurts, is that he is supposed to be here. But I guess if he wants me to move ahead, this is the only way I can.
While it hurts, I think it is worth a shot. Maybe if I can find my way back to him, I will have a whole new set of stories to tell him.
Life sucks sometimes.