Blocked

Let me tell you a little story about technology.
On Tuesday night, my apt was chosen for Ward Visits. Previously that day, I had read an article by Elder Bednar about the use of Technology and the society we live in. I made a comment about this article during the visit. We discussed the dependence that many have on our Cell phones, Blogs, Twitter, and Facebook.

I will be the first to admit that if you take my phone away, I will have a convulsion and pass out. But until recently I didn't realize how much I depended on it. Not in the way that so many others do... I need it to keep me happy. I use technology to connect to people, but not just to be connected- but to make me happy. I needed him there....

We hear about our Generation as needing constant entertainment- and guess what folks, it's true! I use my phone all though the day so that I have no "free" time on my hands. But now I have hit a new brick wall- one I don't quite know how to climb- I have plenty of free time to myself now! And the worst part is that I hate it. I need this link- I am so dependant on this ability to chat and be there with the person where ever they are, that not texting my friend during the day causes my heart to feel like it is on fire. I constantly think of things to say, but then have to shut it out. I have to try to find other people to tell. But sadly, they are not him, they don't respond like him. They don't laugh like him or tell me how adorable I am... And that makes getting over this even harder.

Well, this isn't even the worst part! After all of the cell phone deprivation, I am now facing a new technological mess. Being blocked. In the rage of a fight, I was dropped from a"friendship" on Facebook and MSN chatting. Heartbreak doesn't really describe the emotion one feels when they are rejected like this. It is like a bee sting all over my body in waves so intense that I can't do anything else.

If you have not yet, I would highly recommend watching "He's Just Not That Into You". Drew Berrymore has a brilliant line in there as she too is facing rejection from technology. This leads one to wonder, why has society allowed us to really feel emotion about this?

To go back to my original thought- we aren't really rejected via these devices unless we choose to view it that way. Our dependency can either cripple us or be a tool for good. If we allow our world, to teach us that being rejected on Facebook matters- or being blocked on MSN messenger is a sign of what kind of person we are- than we allow for a greater battle to rage on. But this battle is an internal one- a fire that only we can personally put out. I know that I am playing the victim- but it is hard for me to understand it all. How can we be so heartbroken over something that is virtual?

My final conclusion is this. Hold tight till the worst is over. Then fall to the ground and pray it never happens again. Like being caught in the waves of the ocean- the tide is pulling you back while the water continues to come down- hold your breath, grit your teeth, and pray that air will come soon. Until then, my blue face is a new trend- I will find my way back.